The “Current” Problem.

It all started so innocently. I was barely awake, about to make a cup of coffee. I looked over at the new fridge the church had bought me for my birthday.

For some unknown, idiotic reason, I mumbled out loud “Maybe I will cook something”.

Now that probably sounds like so innocent a statement, but….I have not cooked anything since Jimmy Carter was president and interest hit 22 %.

I heard this deep growl from my stove. “What are you grinning about”. Before I could really focus, I hear the fridge say, “It is because of me he is going to cook”.

It just started. This huge argument from my appliances. They all began yelling while I stood there speechless and slack jawed.

The dish washer began crowing about how I never stopped using him! He still was appreciated!

To which the washer and dryer yelled get a life you liar, he still uses us more than you.

It was like a riot!

The clock ticked everyone off!

The heater woke up, it had been asleep all summer, and immediately got hot!

The vacumn was screaming he uses me more than any of you clueless idiots.

I was stunned.

The computer and the iPad were saying horrible things to each other. Calling each other the “M” word. I heard one say you’re as dumb as Microsoft and your processor is slow as christmas.

The Bose sound system blared on and began trying to drown out the cacophony of screaming appliances.

I was dumbfounded. All I was going to do is scramble an egg! Now this house has turned into a Stephen King novel look alike, wanna be!

The stove was hot, the fridge had gone cold, the dishwasher had started spitting. The washer was yelling at the dryer to shut it’s lint trap.

The vacume was venting, the Bose Music system was trying to be heard, the clock chimed in!

The alarm system went off. Now the cops would be coming. What a mess! Now the stuff in the garage had heard through the alarm system all the noise and I thought great! I thought, now the Jeep and motorcycles will all “Start up.” Oh brother!

The heater was fuming, and I had had enough! I ran to the fuse panel and killed the current! Yep I did. I turned off the current.

That’s when I heard a small humming. It was my little blue razor vibrating and spinning in circles.

I locked it in a drawer and blew out a frustrated breath. Man what a zoo. What a total mess.

I went back and the coffee maker was smiling at me, so I took a chance. She winked as I made a cup.

As I turned away she said “This goes on all the time when you are gone!”

The coffee maker continued, “Have you ever read the story ‘The house that had enough’?”

I stupidly nodded no.

“Well big boy, that is where you live.”

I could still hear a buzzing. I woke up. It was the alarm!

Whew. That was my “current” dream and I am glad it is not my “current” problem!

But I am very thankful for the new fridge. Thank you FPC!

P. S. The washer is still agitated!