Santa Claus is dead! Tuesday, Nov 30 2010 

The Physics of Santa Claus

A Scientific Disproof of the Santa Theory.
Original source: sirius@wam.umd.edu (The Human Neutrino aka Linda Harden)
Original Title: IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?
No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn’t (appear to) handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total – 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census)rate of 3.5 children per household, that’s 91.8 million homes. One presumes there’s at least one good child in each.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west(which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding etc.

This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second – a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that “flying reindeer” (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal anoint, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload – not even counting the weight of the sleigh – to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison – this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance – this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake.The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim)would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion — If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he’s dead now.

Thanks for reading today!

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51 and fading……. Saturday, Nov 20 2010 

He was fifty one years old. He had never been this weary. He was weary in body, but even more weary in his soul.

His life dream was not happening. He had failed to reach his goal in the last four tries.

Questions bombarded his mind. Did he do the right thing? Should he quit? Maybe life was not worth it all anymore!

To make it worse he was all alone.

He walked and thought and brooded. On the horizon was a big city. It was a sinful city. Should he try again? Maybe just once more!

700,000 people were over there in the new city only 100 years old. He was aware it was not an easy city. Soldiers, merchants, slaves and prostitutes.

As he trod toward the outskirts he made what he thought might be his last important decision of life, after all he was despairing of life.

Slowly he stopped as the people on the road drifted by. He was just another traveller on this fine Roman road. Some where along the outside of the metropolis, Paul made a decision.

He decided, I will try again. The past four failures will not keep me from trying again.

Only this time I am making a decision.

This time I will only preach Jesus Christ and him crucified!

He had no fore boding that he was about to do what no other man in history would ever do again.

In the next eighteen months he would establish the largest church in the history of the world.

Corinth, the second largest city in the Roman Empire, the hardest challenge of Paul’s three journeys, would fall before the great apostle.

Paul at his lowest, was Jesus at His best.

God picked up His human crayon and drew a picture for all millenniums.

When I am weak, then am I strong.

It really isn’t about you after all.

Would you just let Jesus be the artist and you be the canvas?

Thanks for reading today!

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Pontius Pilate Thursday, Nov 18 2010 

Pontius Pilate

His name is infamous.

Many people know his name.

Millions know his deed.

He judged Jesus of Nazareth.

Like so many who are infamous or famous, few actually know who he was.

Most would say something like this….He was the Roman governor who passed judgment on Jesus to be crucified. That is all most people know of him. Because of his act of judgment, he is viewed as a terrible person and goes down in history as a rogue.

How did he arrive in the land of palestine in the first place? What happened to Herod Archelaus?

The story of the land of Palestine is long and bloody. For centuries this fabled land was a pawn in the hand of world powers. Kicked back and forth like a backwater, unimportant prize to the most recent conqueror.

Some two centuries before the arrival of Jesus, a family in this land got tired of the iron heel of the conqueror and began to fight back. They became known as the Macabees.

Part politician, part freedom fighters, their only aim in life was to free their land of subjugation. They fought, they bartered, and eventually they won. Well, kind of.

Eventually there came of this family a very subtle and talented man who began a political ascent with the Romans. He was known in history as Herod the great.

Herod was a patriot. No price was to high to achieve his goals of promoting himself and the land he loved. He cajoled and finagled until he persuaded the Caesar to appoint him as King of the Jews.

From his new position he began to push, shove, and drag Israel into being modern. His greatest achievement was the rebuilding of the temple that was standing when Jesus Christ came.

His most heinous crime was the slaughter of all the babies two years old and younger in the attempt to prevent any king from usurping the throne he had worked a lifetime to secure from Rome. (10,000 or more babies were slain).

He died in 4BC. At his death he followed Alexander the Great’s example of dividing your kingdom into several parts. He gave his lands to his three sons. To Phillip he gave the eastern provinces. To Herod Antipas he gave Galilee and Samaria. To Herod Archelaus he gave Judea.

Archelaus ruled the area of Judea for about ten years. He was such a cruel and ruthless man that even Rome could not stomach his reign. Rome used it’s imperial jurisdiction and removed him from his throne and appointed a governor.

Caesar appointed Quirnius Caponius, then Ambivius, then Annius Rufus, then Valerius Gratus, and finally Pontius Pilate.

Pilate ruled from 26 ad until 36 ad. Pilate proved to be so cruel Rome removed him from power. But not before history placed him in the spotlight.

For one brief moment there he stands. All of history will condemn him for this one moment. His name is forever associated with consummate evil.

Three to six years later Rome removed him from power and history says Pilate committed suicide soon thereafter.

What man in history is so well known yet so unknown?

This fact screams to me, it isn’t about Pilate, it is about Jesus.

Without Jesus, pilate fades off the world scene and is never heard of.

Because of his intersection with Jesus, he is immortal.

The only way your life will ever have meaning and memory is if it becomes connected with Jesus.

Thanks for reading today.

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Abraham’s nephew…..Job! Monday, Nov 15 2010 

Abraham’s nephew.

No I am not speaking of Lot. I am actually speaking of Job.

As best as I can research, Job was the son of Abraham’s brother Nahor.

This would make Job and Lot first cousins. What a contrast!

Lot leaves with the man of greatest faith in history and still struggles in Sodom.

God leaves Job in Uz without any support from Uncle Abraham and Job leaves behind a “memorial” to a life of faith to rival that of his Uncle Abraham!

The story is familiar to most of us. There is the introduction with a cosmic contest beyond the human senses.

God and Satan discuss Job without Job’s knowledge.

God says I bet you can’t and Satan says I bet I can.

Satan was wrong. He is always wrong. A classic bimbo and loser. Who would follow such an idiot with a track record of repeated stupidity?

After the first failure Satan slinks back into the throne chamber and says Ya-but.

God smiles and says okay, but I still bet you can’t and Satan says I can.

Mr Stupid tries again and guess who was right again? Yep. God was again right and Mr Stupid Satan is wrong again.

Let me introduce you to Job’s friends.

Eliphaz: a descendant of Esau, an Edomite. Gold digger, money lover and idiot like his ancestor.

Bildad: Abraham’s brother’s son’s son so another cousin. Classic family troublemaker. We all have them. False accusers, arrogant “better than you”, cousins who stink up the place.

Zophar: A flaky friend whose name means to “leave early”. With wit only the Almighty could dream up, he calls the flake who leaves early Zophar! He only goes Zophar (so far), then flakes out.

Finally after three rounds in which Zophar flakes out on the last round because he only goes so far, there enters another character on the stage.

Elihu: This is Job’s younger brother. Trace the names and they both have the same father. This is important because of a couple of things. First the content of his dialog is not against the character of Job, thereby showing Job is being truthful. He has grown up with Job and knows his brother has not sinned. He is only defending God and the contrast of God and evil. Therefore, he is not reprimanded by God and does not have to apologize to Job like the other three have to.

In the story, after the introduction, there are three cycles of discussion. Eliphaz accuses Job and Job defends himself. Then Bildad the critical family member accuses Job and Job defends himself. Then the flake jumps on the band wagon and Job defends himself. The cycle repeats a second time. Then a third time only the flake only goes Zophar and drops out.

Then younger brother steps in and defends his brother by defending the character of God.

Finally God speaks, and everybody shuts up!

Just a note for controversy…..

In chapter two, Job’s wife says do you still retain your integrity? Curse God and die. An interesting note is the word curse used there. It is used about 311 times or so in the Bible, and in over three hundred times it means to kneel, to bless God by an act of adoration.

In only three times is it used in a negative form. More importantly, the word we associate with to curse is used in the next chapter by Job in contrast.

So, could it be……

Job’s wife was saying, “Do you still have your right mind? Then before you die, kneel down and pay adoration one more time before death arrives”. To which Job replies, “you speak as one of the foolish women speaketh”. Maybe Mrs Job has gotten a bad rap all these years. Maybe she was convinced her husband was dying and was only saying before you lose your ability to think straight, why don’t you give God one more act of adoration. To which he assured her, I am not dying, this is just a test from the almighty.

She was venerated by her husband later in the book as a wonderful wife. Would he have done that if she was the bitty we have thought for so long?

Would God have given her ten more children and allowed her to live for another 140 years is she cursed him?

Just something to think about while you drink coffee today and jump start your brain.

Oh yeah, one last thing. The passages we love the most in Job when he says I know my redeemer liveth and shall stand on the earth at the latter day, and I wish my adversary would write a book, were both spoken by good old cousin Bildad.

There just ain’t nothing like those relatives and family members to make us pray is there?

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad